Tales From The Temple by James T. Spurgeon PAGE 7

about being good employees. And our character level never matched his. Every time he preached there was some new measuring stick for us to match ourselves up to, to see whether our character level was where it ought to be. Either our shoes needed to be shined, or our cars needed cleaned out, or our nose hairs needed clipped, or something. His sermons never made much sense and it was always a challenge to see if we could come up with a legitimate outline of it in our chapel notes.

When I saw Dow Allen come out I knew that it was going to be interesting. I had no clue what was about to happen, and even while it was happening I really didn't know for sure what it was or who was the recipient of it.

Dow Allen got up to speak. The first thing he did was call for someone to bring in a table and a stack of books. The books were encyclopedias that he had taken the time to wrap in silver paper before chapel. They put the table in front of the pulpit and stacked the books on it. Then, Dow announced his text as Revelation 20:12-15. He began preaching about a preacher-boy who was going to be judged.

About ten minutes into the sermon I began to get the idea that somebody was really getting hit hard. I didn't know who it was though. Dow Allen's thought processes were always hard to follow anyway. Most of the time, when Dow Allen preached in chapel, everyone left saying, "huh?" And that's what I was doing. I knew he was hammering somebody, but he had his facts all messed up and I couldn't figure it out. He kept mentioning that a preacher-boy had been coming on campus to try to steal one of his daughters. Since his daughters were all under ten years of age, this was really a confusing clue. Furthermore, he had the Great White Throne mixed up with the judgment seat of Christ and it was all kind of weird. He kept opening the books and talking about how some preacher-boy was going to be judged. I noticed everyone else looked pretty confused too, except for Miss X who was crying.

I didn't take that as a very good sign.

All in all, I would have to say it was one of the most laughable sermons I have ever heard. He was trying his best to call me out, expose me, and slam me publicly, and I didn't even know it. His dramatics were totally lost by the confusion that all his incorrect information was having on the sermon. People who didn't know what was going on were totally lost. And people who did know what was going on were scratching their heads. I chuckle about that to this day.

The sermon was over and Bro. Bowen stepped up to the pulpit. Usually this is where the invitation began, but today it was different. Bro. Bowen announced that today they were going to have to expel someone from college.

"James Spurgeon would you stand please?" I stood up. "You are officially expelled from Texas Baptist College."

I was surprised. But I didn't show it on my face.

"We're going to give an altar call. You can come forward and get things right, or you can pick up your brief case and walk out the back door. It doesn't matter to me which."

And with that, the invitation began. I went forward, bowed at the altar, closed my eyes, and said absolutely nothing to God. After a minute or two, I went back to my seat.

When the invitation was over, Bro. Bowen asked me to leave the chapel and follow him to his office. I did so. When we got there he said, "I suppose you know why we've expelled you." I didn't. He said, "Son did you touch her? 'Cause if you did, I'm going to throw you off the top of this building." I hadn't. He didn't. He whipped out the letter and said, This is a violation of rule #1 in our handbook which states that all students will keep the spirit of the rules and not have a rebellious attitude toward authority. You have been expelled for direct disobedience. You can talk it over with your parents and